I Asked For This

Motherhood is F.U.N.!

Cozy Memories… May 23, 2012

Filed under: Memories from my childhood — Beth @ 12:45 pm
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Some days there are certain triggers that pull you back in time, to memories of days gone by. Today was one of those days!

This morning I woke up, kissed my hubby good-bye at 7:30am and waved as he drove out of the driveway into the early dawn. I looked down to gaze lovingly at my toddlers shining faces and was whisked back in time. It was almost part of our weekly routine to see my father off in much the same manner. For him it was off to fishing, for us now it is a Warhammer Tournament, both are hobbies so it is much the same. I remember looking up at my mother with the knowledge that today would be a good day!

In those days my mother was astounding! Her house was always clean, her energy seemed endless, she was always calm, loving. Those were the days when she was happy with her life, fully content, everything was as it should be. My memories of this time of my life are always warm.

But I digress. After wishing my hubby luck and closing the door I walked into the kitchen to feed my children. Sliced bananas, yogurt, and peanut butter and honey wrap and a pile of grapes. The three of us sat down at the table together and leisurely ate our breakfast while discussing the differences between cartiledge and bone, the locations of each on our bodies, and had me discovering that I need to take an anatomy course!

After breakfast my children ran off to play while I started cooking. I put a pot of water on the stove to boil a ham bone to make soup. Then I ran down stars to grab a load of laundry to fold and put new loads in the washer and dryer. After standing at the dining room table folding my 3rd load of laundry, the smell of cooked ham started filling the house. I inhaled deeply and was flooded with a rush of memories.

My mother always set aside 1 day every weekend to be chore day. Sometimes it was Saturday and sometimes sunday. But either way I remember my brothers and I pitching in (okay, so we faught the process everytime) to clean the house so we could go outside to play! I remembered the smell of load after load of laundry, of mom cajoling me into sorting the socks out, folding towels and face cloths. I remember the smell of home cooking. My mother has always been a wonderful cook, very traditional in that she cooks like her mother did, and always leaving you feeling warm and contented. The house would be filled with German folk music, to which my mother knew all the words. She would pull us into her arms and dance around the kitchen with us, or she would “force” us to sing along even though we didnt know the words. You could tell how well we were listening by the volume of the music, the more we complained about the household tasks the louder the music got! I remember Sunday night baths, snuggling with my daddy on the couch while watching disney, and feeling the general warmth and love of family.

These memories reminded me that even when there are hard days ahead and long days behind you, there will always be the days that fill your soul with warmth. There will always be the days that sing to you from the past, the days that remind you of the importance of family. I hope that when my children grow up they will have happy memories and that those memories will be triggered often, with warmth and love!

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Cherishing Parenthood With Every Breath!

Filed under: Motherhood — Beth @ 12:23 pm
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Ah for the love of children we do so many things. Those adorable little mini me’s who control every aspect of your life. I mean this in the most positive way. Children are wonderful, full of life and energy, always loving and amazing. Someone once told me…okay not just one someone and not just once…that parenting is wonderful, that I should hold every memory preciously in my hands and cherish EVERY memory! Okay, I will agree that raising children is a unique experience, a wonder to behold, a treasure…but I have to admit that I have trouble with the idea of cherishing EVERY moment of their lives! Let me tell you a story, of which I am positive there will be many more, of one such memory that I will not be cherishing…okay, so I might cherish part of it!

Last night I snuggled into my daughters bed with a stack of stories. One child tucked cozily under each arm. I opened the stories and read every word on every page, engaging my children by asking questions and letting them turn the pages. Half way through I notice a bit of a funky smell. I ask each child in turn if they are sick or poopy, both say no and we move on with the next page.

After story time I tuck my daughter into bed with hugs and kisses and ask her again if she is feeling alright. Her response is to say “well, maybe I feel a little sick, maybe I have a bubble in my tummy…” I lean in to give her a kiss and get a slobbery wet raspberry blown into my face! “oh, sorry, I farted” she giggles. Wiping her spit from my face I ask if she feels better now, she giggles again and I leave the room wishing her sweet dreams.

I go into the next room to tuck my son into his bed. He refuses to give me hugs or kisses. So I turn on his music, cover him up and whisper “I love you”. I leave his room with a sigh, now to load the dish washer and relax for a bit. As I am settling into the couch I catch movement from the corner of my eye. “what do you need?” I ask my little Booboo (my son). “I think I do want hugs and kisses” he says quietly. I pick him up and snuggle him all the way back upstairs, give great hugs and kisses and wish him a good night sleep. He stays there for the rest of the night.

When I go in to check on my children before going to bed I once again smell this undertone of funk. It is as though my daughter vomited and didnt brush her teeth afterwards. So not strong enough for there to actually be vomit in the room, but strong enough to tell me there is a residue somewhere. I cant find it in her dark bedroom in the middle of the night so I leave the room vowing to hunt it down in the morning!

The next morning starts off well and the mystery smell eludes my mind until about 10:30. With it being laundry day I head upstairs and go through each room collecting abandoned pieces of childrens clothing, towels and bedding. Upon entering my daughters room I am reminded of my vow to go stench hunting! I pull the bedding apart, but nothing there holds the smell, oh well, it is time to wash the bedding anyways. I continue searching behind the bed, in the drawers, the bottom of the toy box, under the bed…but I cannot for the life of me find what it is.

I decide to go start the laundry and continue my search later. At about 11 my daughter goes up to her room to get dressed. I follow along with an arm load of laundry. We start chatting about the smell, me asking questions, her providing logical 4 year old answers! The conversation goes something like this: Me: So, do you smell something?

Her: Yeah, it smells yucky!

Me: Any ideas on what it might be?

Her: Maybe it is your bum! Did you poop in your pants Mommy?

Me: No, but thanks for asking! It smells like something is rotting in here, can you think of any food or something that might be rotting in here?

Her: It’s okay Mommy, you can tell me if you pooped your pants, everyone has accidents sometimes!

Me: I didnt poop my pants but thank-you for your concern. back to the location of the smell though please. It smells like something died in here.

Her: oh, maybe it was Albert (very matter of factly)

Me: Albert? Who is Albert and why would he be dead in your bedroom?

Her: SHE is a ladybug and I lost her so she must have died in here somewhere! (this said matter of factly with eye rolling and snobby intonnation, as though I am really as dumb as I look!)

Me: Oh, well, even if Albert did die in here she wouldnt smell like that.

I put the stack of clothing I was carrying down on the top of her dresser. Pulling my hand out from under the stack I realize that my hand is wet…what the…I bring my hand towards my face and take a whiff…YUP! That is DEFINATELY the source of the rotten stench!

Removing the dry clothing from the stack and gathering up the soaked with stench clothing I start cleaning up the mess. Can YOU guess what that wet stuff was???

It was the fluid that seaped out of the holes of a sippy cup when the fermenting contents built up too much pressure to contain it any longer!

With my hubby working out of town it is quite often that when he comes home he falls into the roll of primary caregiver to our children. They dont want anything to do with me once they see him, I need a break to regain my sanity and he misses them. In general our set up usually works for us. One of the issues with this layout is that we have different survival skills and “rules” that we follow. One such rule is that I try really hard to NEVER EVER put milk into sippy cups with straws or valves. My wonderful hubby aparently does not feel the same way. On Friday night he put the kids to bed with sippy cups of milk. The next day it stayed there…did I mention that today is WEDNESDAY!!! How did this happen?

Well Friday night when we went in to check on our sleeping daughter the cup got over looked. Saturday it was mistaken as her almost always present water cup. Saturday night and Sunday the kids had gone camping with daddy and I never entered the bedroom. Monday the kids were taken care of by daddy, I assume he didnt have any reason to enter her room. That brings us to Tuesday, and more specifically Tuesday night and Wednesday morning!

VIOLA! PUKE IN A CUP!

So in conclusion, I definately expected science experiments when I became a parent, I just didnt expect them to be started by us, the parents, nore did I expect them to start at such a young age. So no, I will not cherish this moment, and I am certain that this is not the last time I will refuse to cherish a moment of my childrens childhoods! ;D

 

 

Protected: Life is a journey…a long one! October 25, 2011

Filed under: The Long Road — Beth @ 2:53 pm

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Suck It! October 13, 2011

Filed under: Motherhood — Beth @ 10:45 am

We are now in the midst of Autumn and I feel this sense of impending doom. The winter will be soon upon us and our ability to go play outside will be at the mercy of the wind and cold temperatures!

So in order to prepare ourselves for this I have been trying to get us out of the house by 9am every morning and staying out there until we get too cold…we usually make it to lunch…today we did not!

Our outting for this morning was a leisurely walk down to our local Sobeys store to pick up a simple jug of milk. We made our way there at a 2.5 year olds pace…which means back tracking, stalling, jumping over each crack, checking out all the bugs, walking on the retaining block walls, etc…made it to the cookie club counter for our cookie of the day, wandered over to the milk section and then back towards the check-outs collecting a couple more items along the way.

Here we are standing in line waiting for our turn. There is a clerk bagging groceries, a little old lady infront of us, an older gentleman behind us, the middle aged cashier and another middle aged cashier on the other side of us. We are blocked in by human bodies…and more importantly adult human ears…when my almost 4 year old daughter turns to me and says, and I quote “When daddy gets home I am going to show him how you teached me to put my mouth down to it and suck, suck, SUCK IT!!”

I had to bite my lip to prevent myself from bursting out with laughter. All of the adults turned to me with eye brows raised, evil eyes and glares full of startled horror! My face turned red, my whole body shaking from supressed laughter.

I looked down at her and replied with “you mean, so that you dont squeeze it too hard and have it squirt all over the place?”

The eye brows rise higher, the evil eyes grow larger, everyone has stopped what they are doing to stare and listen! I imagine right about now one of them is reaching for their cell phone, child protective services at the touch of a button, they wont let me leave the store. I allow my smile to break, I look down at my child, she is staring at the chocolate bars, oblivious to the fact that everyone has stopped moving around her and is staring at her with baited breath.

“Right!” she says. “cause if it squirts everywhere you wont let me have it anymore!” I wait a few seconds, she has to say more, anything I say at this point will sound like a cover and my reputation as a calm, patient, and loving mother will have flown out the window forever!

“I love drinking juice boxes so so much!” Oh thank GOD!!!

All around me I hear a collective sigh of relief…as I leave the store I am texting to my husband about the most embarassing moment of my life…his only comment was “now imagine if it had been me standing in line with her!”

 

Big Days Ahead! October 3, 2011

Filed under: Motherhood — Beth @ 8:47 pm

So I had this long conversation with Positive Parenting expert Amy McCready on Friday morning. She had a lot of wonderful ideas that I hope to start implementing this week. I suspect though that it would be much easier to start during a week that did not have any events scheduled. As it is I do have things scheduled and will just have to remind myself to go with the flow and stay calm at all times! Cross your fingers everyone!

Some of her suggestions included:

Scheduling body, mind and soul time. This is 10 minutes 1 on 1 with each child 2x per day. It is a bonding time where you do what the child wants to do and you let yourself be a child in that moment. Available to them physically, mentally and spacially. So no answering the phone, no TV on, no cellphone, etc. She suggested I schedule this time into our day because everytime I tell Benny that I have 15 minutes and ask him what he wants to do, he says he doesnt want to spent time with me, some days I even get the statement “dont like mommy!”…the little shit!

Implementing a WHEN/THEN schedule. This means that I needed to find things that would motivate my children, not rewards, things they regularly get that they want to continue getting. My problem was that my son doesn’t really care about anything. The minute you try to use something he cares about to get control of the situation, suddenly he is willing to throw that item away forever! Amy suggested food! This is brilliant…but I hope it works because I would feel horrible restricting food when I sometimes feel they dont really get enough as it is…but maybe they are using food to control me…so a turn of the tides is definately warranted. So starting this week our days look like this…WHEN you have washed and brushed, gotten dressed and made your bed, THEN you may come sit down for breakfast. WHEN you have tidied up your bedroom, gone to the bathroom and washed your hands, THEN you may come join me at the table for lunch. WHEN you have tidied up the downstairs toys, gone potty and washed you hands, THEN you may come sit down for supper. WHEN you have finished your bath, brushed your hair and teeth, put on your pjs and found your blankie, THEn we can read storeis and snuggle.

Eliminating snacks. This does not mean all snacks. I told her about how I have to fight with my kids to eat their meals so she suggested removing the mid morning snack, if they seem hungry to have lunch a little early. To serve the mid afternoon snack no later than 3:30pm. Also removing the bedtime snack and cup of milk as it might be the cause of my kids getting up so much through the night.

Being consistant with napping/quiet time. Amy suggested that I go through a mini version of their bedtime routine. Put them into their beds, give them music or stories and tell them it is quiet time. That they dont have to sleep, but that they do have to rest their bodies. She suggested that I also wake them, no matter what, by 3:30pm everyday.

So while I am excited to start, I am nervous about a few things. First, will it work. Second, will I be able to keep it up. Third, with it all go to the wayside the moment Daddy walks in the door. Fourth, this weekend is a holiday weekend with lots of social events, will the hurly, burly of the weekend cancel any progress I make in the next 4 days…???

We shall see! Wish me luck!

 

Positive Parenting Solutions! September 30, 2011

Filed under: Motherhood — Beth @ 9:42 am

There is an online parenting course out there called Positive Parenting Solutions by Amy McCready.

I have taken much of the course over the past 4 months and have found that there is so much in there (and I am so tired) that I have had to retake it several times to catch it all. I really enjoy the course and while applying it takes a lot of time and energy I have seen great results. My issue now is that I have had issues with consistancy my whole life. So practising and acting consistantly, long term has proven to be a major challenge for me.

I have noticed that my sons behavior has been back firing no matter what I do so I sent Amy an email, pouring out my heart about how difficult this child is, about how keeping the kids in bed is a nightmare (pun intended) and generally explaining that not only are the kids out of control, but that I feel as though I am as well. I truly didn’t expect a response, I figured I would at least get some stress relief from the act of writing it all out.

TO MY SUPRISE, She emailed me back! Writing that it sounded like I felt like I was drowning and would benefit from a live conversation! She scheduled a phone “conference” right then and there. Firday morning comes around and my phone rings 2 seconds past the hour in which she said she would call. I expected a doctor/patient or client kind of call. I expected to be told I was doing everything wrong. I expected her to tell me I had to fix things not or my teenage years would be horrific. BUT SHE DIDN’T.

She empathized, she commented positively, she encouraged, she provided ideas, tips…not once did I feel talked down to, not once did I feel that I was making more of things than they were. Not once did I feel frustrated or awkward.

I am excited to start implementing her suggestions, excited to “do my homework”, excited about learning to be a better mom CONSISTANTLY!

 

Momstown.ca! September 29, 2011

Filed under: Motherhood — Beth @ 3:40 pm

It was due to the encouragement from the momstown mamas that I started this blog in the first place so I figured I would post a little of my gratitude!

I joined momstown.ca almost exactly 2 years ago. When I first started I figured it was worth a try to get out and about. With winter coming and my hubby working up North I had this sense of impending depression and loneliness.

I joined up and within days started to get out and about with my kids. I was getting to talk to other women with kids the same age about the same issues. Thank-god, I truly wasnt alone after all! We had play dates, we had movie nights, we had dinners out and whine/wine nights in. We laughed and vented, the kids played, crafted and partied, we had the time of our lives! I was able to hold onto my sanity, decrease my stress and surround myself with like minded individuals.

Momstown truly saved me from boredom, loneliness, depression and insanity! Thank-you momstown for helping me keep my “schmidt” together for the past 2 years! I dont know what I would have done without you!