I Asked For This

Motherhood is F.U.N.!

Stars, candles and pennies… July 5, 2012

Filed under: Life In General — Beth @ 10:47 pm

I wish I may, I wish I might, have this wish I wish tonight…

There are many things that people wish for in their lives that they simply may or may not recieve. Sometimes it is simple wishes “I wish for ice cream” or more complex “I wish for world peace” but everyone, everywhere has a wish in their hearts.

As my children get older I am constantly forced to look to the future and the prospects of going back to work. I dread going back to work. Everything I WANT to do as a career gets pushed off the table due to not being lucrative enough. Everything that is lucrative enough costs too much in time and money to get there. This leaves me standing in the middle with a bunch of ideas that either dont bring in “enough” money or I have no interest in. I have to filter them based on motivation to remain in that “career” for the rest of my retirement saving life.

Someone told me that work is not supposed to be fun, it is supposed to be a sacrifice for future and family. That the world revolves around money and there is where our focus should lay. Sacrifice today so we can enjoy tomorrow. But what if I am not here tomorrow? What if you are not here tomorrow? Then I have sacrificed yesterday, today and tomorrow…in that event, what have I lived for?

I look around me at all the people I know. I make a list of everyone, if you are reading this you are probably on that list, trying to make up my mind. How many of the people in my world put money first? How many of them are wealthy in money and healthy relationships? How many of them would wish to go back in time and make “people” their focus rather than money? How many are happy? How many are not? How many have gotten into their career and then have to drag themselves through it day by day for the sake of money?

How do I find a career that I can remain in for the rest of my life? That is lucrative and makes me happy? In other words, how does one go about finding their calling?

I wish the world did not revolve around money and that I could be free to choose where to lay my gifts of self.

I have a wish but it is far from reach. I have a need within me to follow my calling, but it may not grow beyond a tiny flame. A dream sparkling at the bottome of a black hole.

Until I find a way to alter my path in life in the direction I would like to follow I am left with wishing… upon stars, candles on a cake, pennies in the well…


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